Your Rules Do Not Apply to Me


A couple of days ago, I wanted a barbecue.  Having lived for three years in an apartment in Arizona, I have been completely unable to own a barbecue, under penalty of flogging by the Fire Marshal.  Now, having moved to Florida to an apartment that allows them, I wanted a barbecue.

So, I went to get one.

Walmart was the destination of choice.  The barbecue I found and wanted was the Char-Broil 2-burner.  Walmart had exactly one.  It was the floor display model, but I still wanted it.

So, I grabbed the barbecue, and wheeled it over to the checkout counter near the gardening section.  I was politely informed that the barbecue, being the floor model, would need to be approved for sale by the manager.  The checker called to ask, and another associate (image simulated) to check out the grill.  The grill, I was informed, was in perfect working order.  I was also informed, at about the same time, that the manager would not approve the grill to be sold.  The associates put the grill back on the display floor.

Then I took it.

No, I didn’t steal it.  I just waited for them to be busy with other customers, walked up to it, and wheeled it away.  This time, I headed in the direction of the front of the store, and the main checkout area.  Specifically, I angled toward self-checkout.

The grill had a big sticker on it, complete with barcode.  I peeled it off as I went, got to the self-check, scanned the code, and swiped my card.  It was mine.


“Hold for Assistance”, the screen read.  The associate monitoring the self-check started walking my way… and all she wanted was to verify my ID against the name on my card, because the grill was a large line-item on the receipt.

And the grill was mine.

Walmart, your rules do not apply to those people willing to use your own systems against you.  I’m not talking about laws.  Just your rules.  Enjoy.